I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
