Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
