thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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