so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
