tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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