Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
