I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
