I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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