so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
