i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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