I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
