well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
