What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
