i was rollin on her like bob the builder
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
