i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
