She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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