I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
