using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
