I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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