apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
