I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
