Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need a beard to bite.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
