this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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