the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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