I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They took my balls.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
