operation harelip BJ is a go
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
do nipples grow back?
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