That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
