And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
