i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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