Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
