I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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