I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
honey bunches of taint.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
