He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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