whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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