singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
