Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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