Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
