Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
