She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
