I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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