Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
