google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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