mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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