its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
