You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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