so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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