I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
