That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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