Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
