I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Shame - the story of my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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